There were, I’m reliably informed, some 192kg of cheese consumed. Add to that around 1,816 litres of milk and 9,600 portions of butter.

That’s what it takes to a galley crew of 62 to feed a Fred Olsen cruise through the Norwegian fjords for a week.

I love a bit of Brie but even I couldn’t get through that much cheese. Nor could my cruise companion, my father [pictured above], who was finding his sea legs on his first cruise and happily avoiding the fried-breakfast buffet in favour of healthier fare.

It was, in fact, something of a cruise-detox week all round with lots of fresh air, tranquil Norwegian landscapes and fresh fish for dinner most nights, all washed down with lashings of green tea.

Aside from the cabaret comedian stuck in 1972 and the grab-a-granny disco, it was primarily quiet time.

But that suited us both fine.

Read the full story in September’s Cruise Style supplement with the Daily Telegraph.